So, what is Reiki anyway?

Reiki has been circling back into my practice more regularly since the new year, and it seems like a perfect time to write a little post about this ancient, subtle, and powerful hands-on-healing method. I am a Master/Teacher-level Reiki practitioner in the Usui tradition and lineage. I have been studying energetic healing and the chakra system since 1995, and I have been formally practicing Reiki since 2003. I enjoy calling upon Reiki energy for my own healing, cleansing the energy of a space, and for hands-on healing treatments for clients, family members, and friends.

This Spring I conducted two Reiki workshops in the Bay Area for therapists who also wish to become Reiki practitioners, and incorporate this type of energetic healing modality into their practices. In these workshops, I shared information about the psychology of the chakra system, taught specifics about Reiki I & II, and 'attuned' the participants to become Reiki practitioners. We gathered in a lovely space in Mountain View, and it just felt so good to send more healers out into this world.

So, what is Reiki?

Reiki is not a religion or dogma, does not take away from current belief system; it’s a gentle, effective, non-invasive hand-on healing modality based on an ancient form of healing. Rei means spiritual consciousness.  Ki means life force (sometimes called chi and prana). Thus, Reiki is a spiritually guided life force energy, which is everything around us (earth, air, sun, water.)

Some of the benefits of Reiki: 

• Reduction in stress and anxiety
• A sense of deep peace and tranquility
• Release of blockages on physical, emotional and spiritual levels
• Feelings of overall well-being
• Renewal of spiritual awareness and insight
• Inner stillness, allowing a deepening connection with self
• Enhanced functioning of the immune system
• Reduction in levels of chronic pain
• Decreased time necessary for healing from illness or injury
• Shortened recovery time from physical exertion
• Management of symptoms from chemotherapy
• Support for conventional medical treatment

What to expect during a Reiki treatment session with me:

I offer 75-minute Reiki sessions. You may think of scheduling a Reiki session as a self-care and self-inquiry treat to yourself, much like getting a massage or acupuncture. You don't need to be my psychotherapy client to receive a Reiki treatment, as I offer them independent of psychotherapy. At times when appropriate, I also incorporate Reiki with psychotherapy clients who are interested.

During a Reiki treatment, you will lie comfortably on a massage table, as you remain fully clothed. You may wish to gently close your eyes as you lie quietly on the table and relax fully into the treatment, remembering that you do not need to do anything to increase the effectiveness of the treatment.

The room will be comfortably lit with either candles or soft lighting. Soothing music may be played to enhance relaxation.

I will spend a few minutes getting to know you better, as well as discussing Reiki treatments and finding out what your reasons for coming for a treatment might be. Anything that you choose to share during your treatment will be kept confidential, remembering that this is a safe and sacred environment. If you have any significant areas of physical discomfort, be sure to share that information before the treatment begins, or as you become aware during treatment. I then will gently place my hands over/on the major energy centers, or chakras, of your body, leaving the hands in each position for a few minutes, helping the body to bring itself into balance as it draws in the healing energy of Reiki, and may spend additional time at other areas of the body that seem to be calling for attention.

During the treatment, you may experience a variety of sensations throughout your body such as heat, vibration or tingling, pulsation or flowing energy, lightness or heaviness, deep relaxation, and occasionally temporarily intensified emotions as you release blockages from the past. You may also fall asleep for all or part of the treatment, or find that you do not experience any physical sensations at all. This is perfectly normal, since Reiki does not need to be perceived for you to receive its many benefits, nor do you need to be awake during the treatment.

If you'd like to learn more, I recommend the following books on Reiki: (clicking on affiliate links below will open the Amazon page for the book in a new browser window on your computer) 

• Essential Reiki: A Complete Guide to an Ancient Healing Art
• Reiki Handbook: A Manual for Students and Therapists of the Usui Shiki Ryhoho System of Healing
• And if you'd like more information on the body's energy system, I recommend starting out by reading the following book: Wheels of Life: A User's Guide to the Chakra System
• You may also wish to read the FAQ page on the Reiki web site.

Or feel free to contact me to discuss scheduling a session.

New ways to think about self-care

With the first series of my self-care for therapists group now complete, I'd like to share our diagram where we brainstormed both tried-and-true and brand new ways we can honor the self:

Some of the phrases the group used to define self care included "honoring the self," "refilling the well," and "making time and space to be mindful of my parts." (You can see these around the center of the drawing, on the green petals.)

The image above contains collective wisdom about the ways many of us may already be working self-care into our lives, and it also contains ideas that might be new to you for considering how you might refuel and practice gentleness and kindness with yourself.

We looked at how we can offer ourselves care in the following categories, and I've listed just a few examples below:

Physical

• sleep/naps
• exercise (running, yoga...)
• diet/nutrition (gut health, eating breakfast...)
• self-pampering (massage, spa day...)
• medical care (regular check-ups, bodywork, natural supplements...)

Emotional

• therapy (self-study, self-inquiry)
• art (can also be physical, spiritual, and social!)
• writing (creative writing, journaling...)
• alone time
• travel

Social

• spending time with loved ones
• setting healthy boundaries
• community involvement
• picking up a new hobby

Spiritual

• daily  practice (mindfulness, prayer, meditation, ritual...)
• retreats
• energy work
• spending time in nature

Spatial

• declutter your space
• creating a sacred space at home (altar, resting place...)
• fresh flowers/plants and natural light
• playing music you love
• memorabilia or photos that are reminders of joy
• choosing clothes you feel good wearing

In discussing how therapists can honor their therapist selves around their work day, I presented ideas surrounding client sessions. For example, we covered:

• how therapists/healers might prepare for their work day (physically, spatially, mentally, spiritually)
• how therapists can honor (and not abandon) themselves during therapy sessions, and
• how therapists can cleanse, refuel, and honor themselves after their work day

Notes on these can be seen on the left side of the diagram above; however, it is important to create rituals that are personal and unique to you.

In my private practice, many of my clients are other therapists, therapy graduate students and interns, healers, and caregivers who wish to create personalized, sustainable ways of making self care part of their daily rituals. If you'd like to connect with me for a free 20-minute consultation to see if I may be able to help you, please contact me.

I plan to offer a similar group later this year, most likely in autumn. Stay tuned to find out when by signing up for my e-newsletter (over there in the right column) and by following me on Facebook and/or Twitter.

Self-care group for therapy interns & students

It is with great excitement that I announce a new offering: I'm gathering  a group of psychotherapy graduate students and interns for a nurturing, supportive, small group to discover ways to honor the self and to refuel. In the group, we will cover topics such as:

• the therapist identity
• empathy fatigue/compassion fatigue and burnout
• using mindfulness in the therapist chair
• ways to bring more self-care into our life and workday

In each session, participants will engage in art, journaling, and mindfulness exercises.

Details:

When?     Four Wednesday Evenings | March 12, 19, 26, April 2 | 7 - 8:30pm

Where?    Living Arts Center, 2680 Bayshore Pkwy, Suite 101, Mountain View

How much?     $185 for the series(includes art materials)

Interested?     Contact Jen.

Please feel free to share this blog post if you know of a psychotherapy graduate student or intern (any program or track including LPCC, MFT, PhD, PsyD, LCSW, etc.) who might benefit from this offering. To share, you can email the link to this post or share via Facebook, Twitter, etc.

To learn more about the facilitator, click the links below:

• Jen's Background
• Jen's Approach

Maitri: 4 tips for loving yourself as you are

In keeping with the recent topic of self-compassion here on my blog, I wanted to write about the Buddhist concept of maitri. It's pronounced my tree. It is the Sanskrit word for "loving kindness," and while there are many translations, essentially maitri means unconditional positive self-regard or friendliness or lovingness to oneself. For many of us, the inner-critic has a loud voice.  Socially and professionally, I hear a great deal of self-criticism, self-defeat, and self-loathing from people. It's evident even in casual comments muttered under one's breath, like when making a mistake, saying "I'm so stupid" or when  learning something new, "I can't do this."

Maitri is not about self-indulgence or ego or even about being "a good person" – rather accepting all of who you are and loving that – unconditional is the operative word here. Belief that there is something in our nature that is basically good, and that does not buy the self-critical stories. It is NOT about giving ourselves excuses to avoid difficult things, nor is it merely cheerleading yourself along. It IS the willingness to see and feel into whatever is happening and let our experience be exactly what it is in any one moment. It’s not about becoming better – it is about dropping the struggle to be different from who and what we are. 

There are three parts to the practice of maitri:

1. Precision – Being honest and specific about where your mind is, about your experience, about your suffering, about yourself
2. Gentleness – Touching or meeting with kindness every single aspect of this truth
3. Letting go – Releasing, exhaling, detatching, unplugging from the outcome

For most of us, this frame of mind is difficult to attain when we first attempt it. We  have so many constructs in our western culture that have taught us otherwise. It takes a lot of courage. So, when beginning the practice of maitri, here are a few practical techniques to get you in this mindspace:

• It sometimes helps to envision at least one person or animal for whom you already feel gratitude, appreciation, and love right now, today. Really sit with the feeling of that love and notice its quality, its warmth, its texture, its images. Then make the switch and extend those same sentiments to the self.

• You can also imagine this scenario: What would you say to your best friend calling you for help or advice with [insert your own issue of current distress/worry/suffering here]? Now, tell yourself those very same things in the same tone of voice.

• Because I am a visual learner (no surprise there for an art therapist, huh?) another way I like to make this practice concrete for myself (and for my clients) is this: Find a photo of yourself as a childand keep it near you. I often ask people to tape one to the dashboard of their car or to their bathroom mirror or their desk at home or work. Remind yourself that you are still this child inside, and you can speak to yourself with the same kindness and tone of voice that you’d use to speak to the child.

• Along the lines of visual ways to conjure maitri, I offer a multitude of art invitations or visual prompts to my clients as doorways into this way of seeing oneself. They may take many forms, including a self-portrait, a self box, a mirror project, a photography project, or a mosaic like the one you see pictured above in this post (an example of my own art around this topic.)  These pieces can be so powerful and healing in the context of an art therapy session. Come meet with me for a free consultation to see how we might work together on this.

You can read more about the concept of maitri and practicing maitri from the wise and humorous Buddhist teacher, Pema Chödrön. You may also enjoy this 5 minute video of her speaking about maitri.

If you missed my last post on the practice of tonglen (it just takes one breath!), click here. Follow me on Facebook or Twitter to be notified about forthcoming blogs.

Tonglen: You're just one breath away from self-compassion

We cannot have compassion for others until we have compassion for ourselves. This is often the step that's missed by those who say "I don't have time for myself. I am always giving to everyone else." To be with the suffering of others (grief, loss, fear, pain, etc) we must first be able to be with and stay with these feelings in ourselves. If we are helping others in their suffering without first being able to sit with and lean into our own suffering, can that be called authentic and wholehearted giving? Perhaps the other person does benefit from our gift of support, but if we skip this step of doing our own inner-work with suffering, we are missing a HUGE opportunity: to go deeper, to heal ourselves and others, to truly touch someone's heart with our own openheartedness, to share in our humanness and vulnerability. In the words of George Eliot, “What do we live for, if it is not to make life less difficult for each other?”

Tonglen is a Tibetan word  meaning "giving and taking." It is a way to connect with suffering -- that of others and our own. Tibetan Buddhist teacher, Pema Chödrön, says, "This is the core of the practice: breathing in other's pain so they can be well and have more space to relax and open, and breathing out, sending them relaxation or whatever you feel would bring them relief and happiness." Yep, you can extend compassion to others or yourself in the time it takes to TAKE ONE BREATH.

Pema goes on to say, "However, we often cannot do this practice because we come face to face with our own fear, our own resistance, anger, or whatever our personal pain, our personal stuckness happens to be at that moment." So, that is when we take another breath for ourselves. Or if you know you are suffering, start with yourself.

Breathing in: acknowledge and touch that part within yourself that is experiencing suffering (pain, anger, hurt, jealousy, sadness, grief, despair, fear, etc.)

Breathing out: send that part of you a gift with your breath. I like to envision it as an internal kiss. Or a simple phrase like, "I see you." or "I love you." When I'm feeling more playful, I often imagine self-care types of gifts I could give to this suffering part of myself, like a bubble bath or dark chocolate.

With tonglen, your experience of your own suffering is a path to developing compassion for everyone.

Pema goes into more detail in the links below. I encourage taking a moment to read her very accessible and practical way of explaining this practice:

• What is tonglen
• Instructions for the practice of tonglen
• Three stages of tonglen
• Tonglen "on the spot" (in the moment)
• 4 minute video of Pema explaining the practice of Tonglen.

You can also learn more about Tonglen in Pema Chödrön book on the subject. Click here to find it on amazon.com.

Now give it a try on your very next breath: Inhale and touch that part of you that feels ___ in this moment. Exhale a gift to yourself.

Follow along as I post more practical ways to work self-compassion into your life over the next few weeks, by following me on facebook or twitter.